I had a lot more time to think about my feelings when I was hospitalized. When I was in the hospital and especially in rehab I spent a lot of time with people who are old enough to be my grandparents.
I had a lot of time to think of David, Rose, Sam and Yetta (alphabetically). On one hand, I really wish they were around to give me a hug. On the other hand, I'm really glad we didn't have to see me the way I was. I guess that's ambivalence.
On the other hand, I'm the guy the for profit insurance companies thinks can have a power wheelchair.
Very happy and very unhappy at the same time.