Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Red Hook Pool for the First Day of Daddy Camp

It is gonna be me and the kids for July and August. Whoo hoo!!! I am not so much into swimming so I decided to start the Summer by taking them to a Pool. We went to the not so far away Sol Goldman Recreation Center & Poll at Red Hook Park. I did not take my camera but the pictures I wouldda taken can be found at The Bridge and Tunnel Club site.

Below are the rules of the Pool, in red are my comments:

Pool Rules

Photo of Swimming Pool rules sign

New York’s 54 outdoor pools are great places for summer fun and active recreation. Each summer over one million visitors learn to swim, keep fit, make friends, and beat the summer heat.

For everybody’s health, safety, and protection, we ask our guests to observe the following rules:

  • Bathing suits must be worn on the deck and in the water. Men’s bathing suits must have mesh linings. Hats may be worn on the deck for sun protection but are not allowed in the water. Plain white T-shirts may be worn over bathing suits if desired. Sneakers are not permitted. Rubber flip flops or water shoes are permitted. So I can't wear my speedo, fine your loss.
  • No urinating or defecating in the pools. At first I thought that was a suggestion. It was great fun explaining the word defecation to my 9 year old twins!
  • Children under 16 must be at least eight inches taller than the maximum water depth to enter the pool without adult supervision. Specific height requirements are posted at every pool. I have a masters degree, yet I don't know what that means
  • No person will be permitted in the pool having: skin lesions, sores, or inflamed eyes, mouth, nose, or ear discharge, carrying communicable disease or having any type of bandage, adhesive tape, etc., on their body. This is New York, who is left to swim if they cant come in.
  • All bathers must take a shower in the locker room before entering the pool. They watched, really.
  • Patrons must provide and use their own padlock. No responsibility is assumed for lost articles. A standard master or combination lock is recommended. Small luggage locks are not permitted. Since I entered they building with my shorts over my trunks, I had to show my lock to the Parks Dept employee to get in, really
  • The use of swimming aids, water toys, and flotation devices is prohibited. OK
  • Electronic equipment, including radios, cameras, and cellular phones, is not allowed on pool deck. This count not be enforced. Myspace must be checked.
  • Eating or drinking is permitted only in designated areas. Alcoholic beverages are prohibited. They hand out free lunch as part of the School Lunch Program. But you have to eat it across the street from the pool. A white paper bag with a cup of coleslaw, chocolate or "vanilla" milk (random) a bag of cut up apples and a turkey/chicken wrap. Since the bags were kept in a freezer all morning, the pressed poultry was frozen. Nutritious yet crunchy in all the wrong places.
  • Beach chairs, baby strollers, bags, blankets, or beach balls are not permitted on the pool deck. We will make our best effort to secure strollers. If you are not in the pool, you are standing on the deck. Swim and go home!
  • Follow the directives of lifeguards, Parks staff, and the police. I could not believe how many park employees were standing around doing absolutely nothing, but making sure I took a shower. and Cops look so much bigger when I am in a bathing trunks.
  • Ball playing, running, jumping, using profane language or other forms of disruptive and disorderly behavior are prohibited. Again, swim and go home, but who is the judge of "profane language".... Don't get me started...
  • No diving, except in designated areas. OK.
  • No smoking, pets, or glass bottles permitted. OK.
  • Books and bound periodicals are permitted on the pool deck. Newspapers are not. They decide what I can read!

The interpretation of these rules goes like this. You can not enter the pool deck if you are not wearing your bathing trunks and nothing else except a plain white tee-shirt. You can not have anything in your hands except a towel. This really does not work for me.

I was told my shirt had writing on it so I had to take it off, also not hats. I had three towels, but I was not allowed to have a bag. The sunblock and the water bottle were also supposed to be left in the locker.

I have boy/girl twins. I only had one lock. So I brought my daughters cloths with me to the pool. Not allowed. This is a photo of all the contraband items I snuck into the pool. Except the lock that I was required to bring.

I understand that City Pools used to be a center for gang activity. But this rule enforcement is a little over the top. "No words on t-shirts". Do they think the NYC Teaching Fellows are a gang?

Ya know if you treat people like shit, they act like shit. We give the tourist in Time's Square a place to sit. Why isn't there a chair next to the pool in Red Hook????


  1. Typo alert below (see CAPS):

    "You CANNOT enter the pool deck if you are not wearing YOU bathing SUITE and nothing else except a plain white tee-shirt."

    I've got your back.

  2. These rules, with your commentary, are very funny. Not so funny, on their own. You'd really need to go swimming to go through all this.

  3. Thanks Gail. My High School English teachers gave up on me. I was not allow to be creative with out proper spelling. Now I focus on the creativity and my kids....

  4. All I can say is, wow. Those cops are no joke. But your commentary made me laugh ;)

  5. LOOl was my first and last time in Central Park pool
    bur who created this rules ?

  6. LOOL way may first and last time in Central Park pool with my seven years old ...

    btw.. who created the rules ?

  7. The rules were created because gangs used to rule the pools.


You do not have to be nice!


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